Ash Discovers the Shower OR Mucho Madness!
by Spiffy
Summary: I'm actually pretty proud of this one. The ending is kind of crazy, but it was finished at around 1:30am, so...yeah. And remember kiddies, crazy is GOOD.


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Authors Note to all the rabid Ash fans: Please don't hurt me for making Ash kinda.uh.stupid and unclean.  
  
Disclaimer: Let's see...I don't own Ash or anything else from Pokémon. Actually, I don't own anything in this fic except the ideas and anime prop- storage-bin-land. Fear me. And that says fear, not sue. Stupid lawyers. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________  
  
  
  
It was a rainy afternoon. Ash decided to go visit his mother because he was...uh...bored. Misty and Brock came too. So did Pikachu and Togepi. After miles of walking, they finally reached Pallet Town. That was kind of stupid, since they were so far from there in the first place, but hey, it's my fic and I'll make them do what I want. Ash perked up and dragged his friends into his house. The second the three kids and two Pokémon were in the house, they were bombarded with food. They all sat at the table in the kitchen and ate. Upon seeing that the five were almost done eating, Mrs. Ketchum thought it would be a good time to greet her son. So she did just that. Wow, what a concept. "Why hello there sweetie! I'm so happy you could come and visit me!" Delia said happily. Ash turned around in his seat and looked at his mother. "Hi mom. Good food." Mrs. Ketchum saw Ash's face for the first time since he got there. "Oh my...Ash honey, I think you need to go get cleaned up," she said, after seeing her child's messy face. "Uh...okay, I'll just go take a bath." "Oh Ash dear, I'm afraid the bathtub isn't working...Mimey got the broom stuck in the drain." "How did he do that? And why was the broom in the bathtub in the first place?" Misty asked. Mrs. Ketchum shrugged. "Now, you stay here with Mimey and I'll be right back" and with that, Delia led her son up to the bathroom. When they got there, she put a towel on the toilet seat. "That's for when you're done. There's soap and shampoo in the shower, and if you need an extra towel just holler." Ash blinked and his mother was gone.  
  
Ash looked around the small bathroom then pulled the shower curtain open. "Okay, that must be the shower," he told himself. The ten-year-old got undressed. (Sorry pedo's, if this is gonna stay PG, he's being censored.) Then Ash walked into the shower, sat down and waited. He waited for a few minutes then realized he needed to stand up, and work the water himself. "I am too smart for my own good," Ash was again talking to himself. So the boy stood up, and stared at the knob. He turned it all the way to the right, and stood sideways waiting for the water to hit him. Nothing happened. Ash pulled at the knob, and at an alarming rate, freezing cold water began shooting out of the shower nozzle and onto Ash's side. "ACK!" he screamed, then turned the knob all the way to the left. Since Ash has some freaky-arse reflexes, he turned to his other side. "ARGH!" He yelped as burning hot water hit his body. He turned it and switched sides again. "ACK!" "ARGH!" "ACK!" This went on and on for about ten minutes. By the time Ash realized he needed to keep the knob turned to the middle, his body was half red, half blue. Now in the real world, I'm pretty sure this can't happen, but like I said, it's my fic and I'll do what I want. "Well, at least the water is finally at a good--AAHH!" The water had suddenly turned cold again, then almost as quickly, changed back to normal. Someone had flushed a toilet downstairs.  
  
Ash pulled at his hair. It was really greasy and it was starting to smell funky. He grabbed a bottle of shampoo and looked at it. "I remember mom using this stuff on my head when I was really little when she used to give me baths," Ash thought out loud. He raised the bottle and squeezed all the contents out onto his head. This was not a smart idea, as Ash was not a smart person. Since there was so much of it, the shampoo started running down Ash's hair and onto his forehead. The shampoo kept running and soon hit the two chocolate colored orbs called eyes. "AAAAH!!!" Ash screamed. "It stings, it stings!" And *gasp* Ash actually did something smart...he rinsed his eyes out. Even after they were rinsed out, they still stung.poor Ash. He clasped his eyes shut and put his head under the water, rinsing most of the shampoo out.  
  
Not being able to take the stinging anymore, Ash ran out of the shower, out of the bathroom and downstairs to his mother, who was still in the kitchen with his friends. "...Mom...shampoo in eyes...hurts really bad..." "ASH! What do you think you're doing?!" Ash was confused. Misty squealed and covered her eyes, although every couple of seconds she would peek through her fingers. Naughty Misty. Naughty author for making Misty be naughty. Oh well. Ash was even more confused. Brock turned his head away from the boy and asked if he was forgetting something. Ash blinked, looking down at himself. "AACK!" He yelped, before running up the stairs to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. A red-faced Misty lowered her hands away from her face. "You didn't see anything, did you Togepi?" she asked her evil egg Pokémon. Togepi chirped at it's 'mother' and jumped into her arms. Brock grinned at Misty. "I saw you peeking at him." "WHAT?! I WAS NOT LOOKING AT HIM!" "Yeah, okay, whatever Misty." As Misty pulled her mallet out prepared to whack Brock to the moon, Delia decided to go see what was up with her kid.  
  
The woman walked into her son's bedroom, only to see him pulling a black shirt over his head. "Um...Ash dear? What happened to your skin? ...It's kind of...well...colorful." Ash frowned. "I had trouble with the water." "Oh. I.see." There was a short pause as Ash put his hat on. Mrs. Ketchum smiled at her son, "Why don't we go downstairs now, your other friends came over while you were in the shower. "...My other friends? Who?" "Oh you know, those older kids." Ash blinked. "You know...the ones with the talking Meowth. Yup, that's who it is." "You mean Team Rocket is here?!" Ash cried. "Um...I guess so." "Where were they when I came down before?" Mrs. Ketchum sweatdropped. "Well, they said they had to use the bathroom, but since they all went in at the same time I think they were just talking or something...or at least I hope so..." Ash slapped his forehead. "Alright, let's go downstairs...hopefully they haven't tried to steal Pikachu." And so, the ever-so-intelligent Ketchums headed downstairs. Apparently Delia had forgotten all of her other encounters with Team Rocket, and now believed they were her son's friends. I guess stupidity runs in the family; go figure.  
  
When Ash and his mother made it downstairs, the scene before them was.well.different. Brock was sprawled out across a sofa, Jessie was hanging over a small armchair, and James was laying on his stomach on the floor, Meowth sprawled out on top of him. (Viva la Blueshipping! *grin*) All four were moaning in pain, and covered in bumps and bruises. Misty was prancing around in a skimpy nurse's outfit, which she had gotten from anime prop-storage-bin-land, and was placing bandages on them all. The bandages, of course, were supplied by Pikachu and Mr. Mime, who were wearing little nurse hat things of their own. Togepi was sitting on the floor, also wearing a small white cap with a red cross on it, and waving around Misty's mallet. Nobody bothered to wonder how the heck Togepi managed to do that, seeing as it's new plaything weighed over three times it's own weight. Togepi is just magical like that. Anywho, Misty seemed to be having a grand ol' time playing nurse with her evil little minions. "Um.Misty.?" Mrs. Ketchum asked, "What happened?" Misty looked up, and smiled perkily before answering, "Team Rocket was trying to steal Pikachu." "I knew they would!" Ash cried happily. My, my, it appears our little Ashy-kins is a psychic! Mrs. Ketchum blinked a few times. "What did Brock do?" "Errr."  
  
All of a sudden, the red haired girl jumped onto the coffee table in the middle of the Ketchum's living room, magically dressed up like she was about to be drafted into the army. Funky music began to play out of nowhere, and Misty began to sing."Body, wanna feel my body, body, baby, such a thrill, my body." Jessie was next to jump onto the table, somehow completely recovered from her injuries and dressed up as a biker chick. She too, began singing her own line, "Body, wanna touch my body, body, baby, it's too much, my body." After Jessie was finished, James climbed onto the apparently large table dressed as a cowboy, and sang another line: "Body, check it out, my body, body, baby, don't you doubt, my body." Brock was next up, wearing clothes much like a construction worker. He too, sang. "Body, talking about my body, body, baby, checking out my body"  
  
I think you get where this is going now. Soon Ash the Indian and Delia the slutty cop had joined the others on the table, and the six humans broke out into a happy shiny (and horribly choreographed) song and dance routine. At the base of the table, Pikachu, Meowth, Mr. Mime, and Togepi also did freaky little dances of their own, as everyone who was able to, sang an annoying song that the author is using because it's 1:45am and she wants to get this over with.  
  
"Macho, macho man I gotta be a macho man Macho macho man I gotta be a macho  
  
Macho, macho man I gotta be a macho man Macho macho man I gotta be a macho  
  
Body, my body, body, wanna feel my body Body, baby, body, body, come and thrill my body Body, baby, body, body, love to funk, my body Body, baby, body, body, it's so hot, my body  
  
So hot, yeah my body Alright  
  
Macho, macho man I gotta be a macho man Macho macho man I gotta be a macho  
  
Macho, macho man I gotta be a macho man Macho macho man I gotta be a macho  
  
Macho, macho man I gotta be a macho man Macho macho man I gotta be a macho  
  
I gotta be a macho man  
  
I gotta be a mucho mucho, macho macho man  
  
I gotta be a macho."  
  
And so, the funky music faded, stuff happened, and all was good.  
  
  
  
The End. Finally! 


End file.
